Confused & Hurting
by Green-eyed rusher
Summary: Logan has a secret that he doesn't know about. That secret are his other two personalities Phillip and Henderson. The two people who knows is his mom and best friend Carlos. What happens when Carlos falls in love with Phillip and Logan? rated M for language and sexual stuff.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I wrote a new story. I hope you like it. If you have read my other story Life with a Broken Mind you know I'm not great at updating but I'm gonna try to put up as much as I can. Since I'm out of school right now I'm gonna try to put another chapter of Life with a Broken Mind up and I'm working on some other stories too. So look out for some more stuff. HAPPY 2014 EVERYONE! I hope we all have great year**

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Logan POV

Carlos was avoiding me. More than avoiding me it was like he was afraid to even be around me. Every time I walked into a room Carlos made a lame excuse saying he'll see me later but later never comes. If I go to touch him he flinches and then pretends it didn't happened and runs off. _'Did I do something?' _I need to find him and get him to tell me what's going on.

I need to get him to tell me why he is acting as if I have the plague. To be honest it really hurts. Carlos is such a good friend. I would do anything for him. He is honest and loyal and just amazing. Carlos, Kendall, James and I have always been together, inseparable really. Everyone knew us as a single entity, you never saw just one. So when Kendall and James got together people weren't really that shocked, not like me and Carlos anyway. It's not like we didn't accept them, it just was a shock. I mean one day we're best buds the next day they're sucking face, all the time.

Everyone kept saying Carlos and I were next, but I'm pretty sure I'm straight. I mean I've never had sex before with girl or guy or even had a sexual thought, for that matter. I know it sounds weird for a high school senior not to think that way but it's true. Anyway I'm focused on school right now I don't need the drama. I already have issues I don't need any more. By issues I mean my black outs. I suffer from random black outs. I will literally just forget whole parts of my day. Once I even blacked out for three days, I just woke up on my couch and couldn't remember anything. I haven't told anyone because I don't want people thinking I'm crazy or something. So, I'm pretty sure a relationship would be good right now.

I walked into the cafeteria to find my friends before I head to the library for my study session. My SATs are coming and I need to pass so I can be a step closer to being a doctor. I looked around for them but couldn't see them.

"Yo! Loges!" I heard Kendall yell from the other side. I waved at him making my way over there. When I got there and sat next to Carlos he started to squirm and slowly moved away. Kendall and James didn't notice since Kendall was current being fed, what I'm assuming is supposed to be pizza, by James. After a little while Carlos finally got up.

"Oh.. I almost forgot… I-I need to pick up my… um.. helmet from the… um… waxing parlor" _Really!?_ Of all his excuses that was the best. He quickly walked out. I turned back to Kendall and James.

"Is something wrong with 'Los?"

"I don't think so. He seems fine" James said. Kendall nodding in agreement.

"Well maybe you two haven't notice because your too busy stealing each other's spit to see it." I joked causing a few tater tots to hit me in the head.

"You're just jealous because you aren't getting any." Kendall jeered. I laughed, shaking my head and stood.

"Well I'm gonna go find him."

"Alright. Come here James I need to steal some spit" Kendall said grabbing James' head as they pretended to make out.

"Eww… Bye lover boys."

"You wish you were us!" James yelled as I left. I looked all over for Carlos but when he wants to disappear he does. Not being able to find him I went to the library. It is one of my favorite places, as much as I love being with the guys, I'm a loner by nature. The library is meant for me I love books and the solidarity and quite are perfect. I was in the very back, in the history section, most people don't come back here. When the do it is to make out, because there's a blind spot where the cameras can't see. It's even marked with a little piece of tape. I don't know how kids find this stuff out. I don't even want to think about all the times I caught James and Kendall back here.

I had my favorite book, The Complete Works of Charles Dickens Volume I. It's an amazing read. I was sitting on the ground by the autobiographies, when I heard a small whimper from the shelf behind me. I thought someone was crying. I listened closer then I heard a snore, someone just fell asleep. I heard another whimper, I was about to get up and move when I heard Carlos' voice.

"No… please…" Carlos mumbled. _What? Is he having a nightmare?_ I got up and moved to the behind me where Carlos sat. He had his head lend against the self and his arms wrapped around himself. It looks like he was crying. I can see dried tear tracks on his cheeks. _Oh Carlos. What happened? _I walked up to him and sat next to him, listening to his quiet whimpers.

"I'm sorry… Logan please stop…" I froze at the mention of my from my best friend nightmare. _Why me? What did I do Carlos? _

"STOP!" Carlos said more loudly, jerking slightly. I few people looked over at us and I gave them an apologetic smile. I nudged Carlos but he didn't get up.

"Carlos" I whispered nudging him harder. He jerked awake and looked at me. When he looked at me I saw a little fear in his eyes but it quickly disappear replaced with hesitation.

"'Los are you ok?" I asked and then he seemed to relax.

"It's you, Logan." He mumbled under his breathe. Thinking couldn't hear.

"Yea, it's me. Who else would have this face?" he looked to the ground and started to move away from me again. Before he got far enough away to leave I grabbed his arm. "Carlos what's wrong? Why have you been avoiding me? And why are you having nightmares with me in them?"

"Let go of me Logan." Was all he said not even turning to look at me.

"No. Not in till you tell me what is going on with you?" I gripped on to him tighter. He quickly turned around and got so closer to me I had to back away.

"You may think its ok to treat me like this but it's not. One day were friends, the next were lovers, and the next you beat the shit out of me. NO. MORE. Between you, Phillip, and Henderson I'm going fucking crazy." I dropped his utterly confused. I had no words. I still don't.

"What?" I said softly sounding as confused as I was. I just shook his head. "Never mind" He got up and walked off.

I followed him out, lunch was almost over and I needed to know what the fuck that was about. I caught up to him quickly. "Carlos. What the fuck was that? Who is Phillip and Henderson?" He turned to me and looked me in the eye. "How do you feel about me Logan?" "What do you mean? Your my best friend, like my brother." At that moment I had never seen so much hurt before. Tear began to fall down his face.

"I- I can't even look at you because it fucking hurts too much right now." He turned around. "Carlos-. " I lightly gripped his shoulder. He flinched away from me. I can't take him being like this around me. "Carlos I-. " This time I stopped because Carlos' lips were against mine. I wish I can tell you what happened next but when I came to I was in Carlos' bed with Carlos wrapped around me.

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**A/N: So there you have it. A brand new story. Tell me what you think of it? What do you think is going on so far? I absolutely love getting your reviews. Don't forget to look out for some more stuff. **

**Till Next Time :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I said I would try to update as much as possible and here it is. I don't lnow if you guy like this story yet, but please review. I really love read all of you thoughts so I can get better. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Since I didn't say it before… I don't own anything except the plot.**

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Carlos POV

"I- I can't even look at you because it fucking hurts too much right now." I said turning away from him. I honestly can't stand looking at him because I love him so much and it will never be just me and him.

"Carlos-." Logan started to say and then he reached over and touched my shoulder. I flinched I didn't mean to, but that's where Henderson grabs me when he is upset at me. I know it's not fair to teach Logan the same but really have no choice, do i? I just wish Logan would see me the way I see him but it will never happen. I don't know if he likes guys but I know I can't stand not being around him. It hurts so fucking much. I can't take it.

"Carlos I-." He starts to say something again but I cut him off by kissing him. His lips feel so good against mind. At first I can feel his surprise, his lips just stood still. After a few seconds I could feel him kiss me back. Our lips moved perfectly against one another. We pulled, sucked, and licked each other's lips as if we couldn't get enough of each other. To be honest I couldn't get enough of him, he was perfect. Then he took control pulling him tight to him. He pushed my lips apart with his tongue. It moved and pushed against mine. I couldn't help the moan I let release.

"Logan?" I breathed out when we pulled apart. When I looked up I saw exactly what I feared.

"Logan?" he asked confused in his thick Texan accent. "Logan again? Are you cheatin' on me with him or somethin'?" I closed my eyes fighting the tears that threatened to come out. I shook my head.

"No, of course not. I love you" I said with a stranded smile.

"Then why did you say his name?" Phillip asked getting a bit angry. I hate making him angry.

"Forget it. You want to ditch? My mom should be at work." I say holding his hand. He looked at me worried for a moment, but I put my award winning puppy dog eyes and he smiles and nods.

"Great let's go." I pull his hand to the back entrance and out to the parking lot.

Maybe it's a good time to start explaining. Logan suffers from dissociative identity disorder (D.I.D) or Multiple Personality Disorder, but if you ask him he'll look at you like you are crazy. His mother found out sometime ago but Logan and his personalities know nothing. Apparently Logan had suffers some kind of extreme trauma and cause his mind to break. When he can't deal with something someone else comes out to do it. The bot standing next to me is Phillip Mitchell. He is a lot like Logan except he is a huge flirt and Texan, for some odd reason. He is the reason I found out about Logan's problem.

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Last summer I had decided to finally tell how I felt. We were at the beach waiting for the fireworks that happens every Friday. I had it all planned out. We would be standing on the boardwalk and right before the fireworks I would turn to him and stutter as I spoke telling him that I liked him. He would tell me he liked me to and we would kiss under the booming of the lightshow. If he said no I would hurt but I'll be ok with that because I would rather stay by his side as his friend then not have him at all.

How I wish that was what happened. We stood on the boardwalk and I was really nervous. It turned to him and tried to speak but the fireworks had started early and he couldn't hear me. So I just grabbed his shirt and kissed him. I was about to pull back to see if he disgusted with me or not, when he pulled me in deeper. I was over the moon happy, in till we pulled apart. I looked at his eyes, my breathe heavy, and he seemed different.

"Well I'd like to know your name before we get any further." He said in that accent with a gorgeous flirty smile. I was too confused by voice and the accent to even notice his smile at the time. "So? Your name, honey? Or should I just call you sweet lips?" He leaned in to kiss me again. I pushed him away from him.

"Is this some kind of joke?! If you don't like e back just be a man and tell me. Don't fuck with me like this. IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, LOGAN!" I scream at him tears slowly sliding down my cheeks. "FUCK YOU LOGAN. JUST FUCK YOU." I finally say and start to stomp off.

"Whoa!" he says running up to grasping my forearm. I rip it away from him.

"Don't fucking touch me." I say angrily and he puts his hands up in surrender.

"Im sorry sweet lips but I don't know who you got me confused with. My name is Phillip, Phillip Mitchell. And when I opened my eyes you were kissin' me so I think you should make sure you're kissin' the right fella next time."

"You are the right guy"

"How can I be the right guy when I don't know you?"

"Your name is Hortense Logan Mitchell. You were born in Texas, raised in Minnesota, and came to California to get a better chance of being a doctor. You are my best friend and the love of my life, but right now you are being a complete ass!" I say the last part firmly and push past him.

"No!" He ran up to me with a flirty smirk. Did he think this was a joke? "My name is Phillip Mitchell. I was born and raised in Dallas, Texas but I did come here to become a doctor. I don't know you at all except as the handsome stranger I was kissing five minutes ago. Who I would really like to take out sometime if I knew his name?" I said the last part flirty running a hand down my arm.

"You're serious?" He nods. Maybe he really believes in being this. Maybe this is the only way I can have him. "Carlos, Carlos Garcia."

"Well, Carlos Garcia. Would like to get a corndog with me?" That's how I met Phillip. The next when I went to Logan's house he acted as if nothing happened. He said just remembers having a splitting headache. When I was leaving I bumped into his mom. I told her about Phillip and she explained Logan's disorder. I couldn't believe it, she said she had never met Phillip. She had only met one other personality, Henderson. He mainly came out when Logan was overly stressed or angry. Henderson had major issues, no one can be around him. I should know.

Since, his mom didn't want Logan having to go away and they wouldn't be able to pay for his treatment she decided not to tell him. I swore I wouldn't either. Over time Phillip would call and visit at night. I figured out that it sexual things that brought him out. Logan couldn't even handle a kiss, I could never understand why.

I somehow ended up dating him. I thought since Logan obviously didn't have feelings for me I could have him through Phillip, but Phillip came with Henderson too. It was becoming a strain on me. I couldn't tell any of them apart sometimes and would make the wrong moves. I also fell in love with Phillip but was still in love with Logan too.

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"Sweet lips? We're here." Phillip said. Breaking me out of my memories.

"Oh. Yea" I open the door and we almost immediately go upstairs to my room. We start kissing passionately. Phil takes control as always and I love it. He pins me to my bed with both my hands in one of his above my head. He kissed me slow and deep making sure I moan into him. I start wanting to touch him, but every time I go to move my hands he tightens his.

"No. Let me taste you first." He groans into my ear. He moves his head to the crook of my neck and begins to suck and nibble. I moan loudly as the sensations move to my already hard member. I thrust up without meaning to and our clothed cocks grind against one another. Phil's other hand reaches under my shirt, he runs it up and down my chest. When it rubs against my right nipple a thrust up again.

"Like that, sweet lips?" He growls.

"Yea" I say breathlessly. Before I can register what's happening, Phil releases my hand and pushes my shirt up. He then starts to suck on my nipple. "Phil!" I moan loudly. He chuckles and continues to suck and softly bites it. When he's satisfied with that one he moves to my other. "Oh God!" I grab his soft brown locks in my hands, loving all of the pleasure he was giving me.

I felt him unbutton my jeans. I lifted my hips to let him take them off. I removed both our shirts and he removed our jeans. He laid on top of me, letting our hard members rub against each other. Although he grinding against me, he kissed me soft and gently. It was he was of say I love you. Sometimes I really wish Phil was the real one instead of Logan. I wouldn't be hurt everyday if that was the case.

Phil reached between us and grabbed me inside my boxers. I trusted hard into his hand. He began to slowly pump me. "I'm close" I whisper, gripping the sheets beside me. Then my release came ripping through me. I covered his hand and the inside of my boxers. I was so dazed in my high that I didn't realize Phil taking off boxers. I didn't realize anything in till I felt something prodding my entrance. I snapped out of my daze.

"Wait!" I pushed him back. I stared at me worried. "I'm sorry. I want to, really, I do. Im just not ready." I said lowly. I felt bad for disappointing him. Without meaning to a few tears started to slide down my cheeks.

"Hey." He said gently, lifting my chin, and wiping the tears with his thumb. "I love you and Im no gonna pressure you to do somethin' you ain't ready for." He kissed my lips and then my forehead. "Let's take a nap."

"But what about you?"

"Im ok. Come on. Let's sleep."

We laid down on my bed. Im actually so happy. I love Phil, I just wish it didn't have to be like this.

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I felt something move under me. When I open my eyes I remember where I was. I look up to see Phil. I smile at him.

"Hey, sexy. Want to take a shower?" I kiss his cheek, but he tenses. Oh no. I pull back slowly looking in his eyes. This isn't Phil.

"Carlos?"

"Oh god. I'm sorry." Pleas not Henderson. I jump up wrapping the blanket around me. "I know you hate when I do that. I swear I'll never do it again. Just don't hurt me." I beg tears falling down my face. "Please."

When he gets up, I cower into a corner. "Carlos im not gonna hurt. I just want to know what we are doing in your bed. Why would I hurt you?" He said gently looking worried by my reaction. It's Logan.

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**A/N: This is literally the most of ever written for a chapter. I have never written anything even remotely smutty. I wanted to try it out though. I may not write it a lot but tell me how I did. Please leave a review. **

**Till Next Time :) **


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